you're invited...

to learn more about my mission! haha :) 

like any good first-grade journalist... i've decided to write out the "5 W's + H" of my mission {please tell me i'm not the only one who learned those in elementary school haha}

WHO 

Jesus :)

missionary me :)

Here's the thing... it's really not about me. It's mostly about Jesus, and it's mostly about other people. :)

WHAT

A mission is a voluntary act of service to God & humankind. We serve with the sole hope of making life better for other people. :)  My purpose will be to invite others to come unto Christ by helping them receive the restored gospel through faith in Jesus Christ and His Atonement, repentance, baptism, receiving the gift of the Holy Ghost, and enduring to the end. I'll be waking up early, studying my scriptures, meeting new people, sharing my testimony of Jesus Christ, teaching the gospel, and inviting people to accept Jesus Christ as their Savior and follow His example :)
I'm dedicating this part of my life to Him as completely as possible, so I'll be very selective about the music I listen to, I won't be on facebook or twitter or anything, I won't be using my phone, and I'll just be emailing my family once a week. Every one can please write me letters though! :) :)

WHEN & WHERE

I report to the Missionary Training Center on November 14th. I'll be there for a couple weeks, and then I'm headed to the Wisconsin Milwaukee mission for 18 months! :) 

HOW

I'd like to quote a Book of Mormon prophet here:

"Yea, I know that I am nothing; as to my strength I am weak; therefore I will not boast of myself, but I will boast of my God, for in His strength I can do all things; yea, behold, many mighty miracles we have wrought in this land, for which we will praise his name forever." Alma 26:12

He is how. :) 

WHY

I first considered serving a full-time mission when I was like... seven. But mostly just because my aunt was the age to go and she was thinking about it. She didn't end up serving, but the idea stuck and it felt good :) So I've sort of always planned on it, and experiences during high school and college have only strengthened that desire. 

Then, while I was working at efy, it became less an option and more a necessity haha. I felt and still feel very strongly that a mission is where I need to be as soon as possible. The gospel of Jesus Christ is something I love more than anything, and I can't think of anything more important that I could be talking about or more beautiful that I could be doing.
 I know that God lives, and I know that He loves & is aware of us. Some people don't know that. How can I not at least try to share my happiness with them? Jesus Christ atoned for the sins of the world. Because of Him, we all can have hope. How can I not share this hope with people? God has a plan for our happiness. We can be with our families forever. There is life after death. There is a purpose to our life here on earth. Somethings are too important to keep to myself.

While I was at efy, my angel Amanda shared with a group of us a verse that hit me as very few verses have before or since. I knew I wanted to serve a mission, and my application was already in the works, but I was struggling with how much I'm going to miss the things I love... my friends, my home, my family... even stupid stuff like my music and my clothes haha. The Savior's question to Peter - Lovest thou me more than these? - hit me SO HARD, and I knew my answer. I knew that this is why I'm leaving everything else I love behind. I love home. I love my friends. I love my family. But I love Jesus more. And He has asked me to feed His lambs. So I'm going.

"Behold, I am a disciple of Jesus Christ, the Son of God. I have been called of Him to declare His word among his people, that they might have everlasting life." 3 Ne. 5:13

From my call letter:

"The Lord will reward you for the goodness of your life. Greater blessings and more happiness than you have yet experienced await you as you humbly and prayerfully serve the Lord in this labor of love among His children. We place our confidence in you and pray that the Lord will help you become an effective missionary."

aaaaaaaamen! WISCONSIN HERE I COME. :) :)

mission decision

Tomorrow, I'll turn twenty-one. 

For me this age has always meant -- not drinking -- but serving a full-time mission for the church of Jesus Christ.

And as of two days ago, the age requirement for young women wishing to serve a mission has been lowered to 19.

& I'm so grateful.

I'm grateful to be here, now, preparing to serve a mission, and not earlier. When I look back at my 19- and 20-year old self (okay, I'm still technically twenty), I see a lot of naivete... which isn't to say that I'm completely grown up now, but the past two years have been years of immeasurable growth for me, and for that I'm so grateful.

I'm grateful to be going now and not then.

I'm grateful for the lessons I've learned about living on my own

& feeling alone

& finding joy

& coming closer to God

& forgiveness

& loving others

& I know that I still have many more lessons to learn, and that my mission will be a time of incredible growth for me. 

But I'm just so grateful for the time that God has given me to grow up unto Him

I'm grateful that I got to attend BYU for two years - what a growing experience that was! 

I'm grateful for the opportunities I've already had to share the gospel with people I love, & for the opportunity I had to work at efy

And I'm so eternally grateful for the people He has put in my life, who have taught me to love & trust & forgive & be happy.

I feel very confident that this is the time for me to be serving. not earlier, and not any later. 

That being said, I'm absolutely ecstatic for all of the 19- and 20- year-old girls who will now have the opportunity to serve that much sooner, who might not otherwise have had the chance to serve at all. God works through our weakness, and he'll work with these teenage boys & girls just as He will work with me. God is a God of miracles :) 

As a woman, I have never felt less than absolutely loved & respected in my church & in my faith. Full-time missionary service is a priesthood responsibility, and something that I've always felt passionate about and known I wanted to do. I'm glad I get to serve now, and I'm excited for the teenagers & young adults I will be privileged to work with in bringing about God's purposes :) 

I believe that God still speaks through prophets & apostles today.

I believe that this decision was reached by men who speak with God.

& I'm so excited to watch His purposes unfold :)

--

~ from the press conference {which i highly recommend watching if you're interested} ~

"God is hastening his work, and he needs more and more willing and worthy missionaries to spread the light, and the truth, and the hope, and the salvation of the gospel of Jesus Christ to an often dark and fearful world... This announcement... is not about you [young people]. It's about the sweet & pure message you are being asked to bear and the ever greater numbers God needs to bear it. ” –Jeffrey R. Holland

:)

10/13/12 EDIT: my friend Joyce Tran wrote this post about the same thing and it describes me perfectly so go read it, amen. :)

praise God time :)

Sometimes I just have to praise God for His goodness :)

1. I had the most a m a z i n g job this summer that I loved. I met life-changing, wonderful people and got to experience the spiritual goodness of efy for seven weeks ~ three more than expected and all with the northwest team, my favourite people :)

2. I got to travel and see the most beautiful places that He created :)

3. I get to live in the beautiful pacific northwest, my favourite place on earth :)

4. I get to live with my wonderful family, and my family is wonderful :) 

5. I'm enrolled in a wonderful university that I get to return to after my mission

6. I feel very much at peace with my decision to not attend school this semester and to go home and prepare for a mission. :) 

7. I have enough money for a mission, and then some. I had enough with my job at efy, then I got additional weeks, and then I got home and have had three different job offers that will allow me to earn almost $3000 in two months. God truly is a God of abundance, mercy, and overflowing love :) :) 

8. And of course I always have to praise Him for my Savior, Jesus :) love love love love love. Knowing Him makes me oh-so-happy :) :) 

I Am with thee

Sometimes, days are rough. Yesterday was rough. Sometimes I'm just crippled by how not-good I am and how much I wish I were better, but I'm not. So sometimes I cry in my car. Which is dangerous haha. So then I go home and open up my scriptures and pray and read about Jesus.

I was reading in Isaiah 41 last night when something stood out to me...

Fear thou not, for I AM with thee. Be not dismayed, for I AM thy God. I will strengthen thee.

The Great "I AM" is my God. He is all powerful & infinitely, powerfully loving. He has the strength to strengthen me - be not dismayed. I AM is my God, & He is awesome & powerful. ♥

I will help thee, yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness. For I the Lord thy God will hold thy right hand, saying unto thee, fear not, I will help thee. 

I don't need to be afraid of not yet being all the way good. The Lord, my God, will help me. He is the only One who can, and he can. He has all power, both in heaven and in earth. (Mosiah 4:9) 

He created me. He knows me. He can fix me.

When Moses asked "Who am I?" God answered "I will be with thee."

I AM that I AM can be translated as "I will cause to be what I will cause to be." He has the power to bring about righteousness for those who follow Him.

Jesus is the bridegroom, & the bridegroom takes care of His bride. All things that He has, she has.

Fear not thou, for I AM with thee. I will strengthen thee, yea, I will help thee. For I the Lord the God will hold thy right hand. Be not thou dismayed, for I AM thy God. I will help thee. ♥♥♥

What does it mean to be a child of God?

Hello friends :)

As part of my job this summer working with efy, I got to take some nice long car trips with friends :)
~ fun fact about me ~ 

Sky & Katie :)

I love talking with people. It's seriously my activity of choice, listening and thinking out loud with someone. 

And so on one particular car trip, I got to talking with my friend Sky about the issue we and some other friends have with the oft-taught idea that all girls are "princesses." Certainly, this is true. We know that we are all "children of the Most High" (Psalms 82:6) and I think that this knowledge of who we really are is very important for us all to have, especially teenagers, who seem to struggle so much with self-worth and the source of their identity. However, my worry is that we sometimes stop too soon. "You're a princess!" we declare, never following up with what it means to be a princess.

To Whom then can we look to discover how children of the King really act? Why, Jesus of course! (Seems like He's always the answer, isn't He.) :)

Like His Apostle Simon Peter, we "believe and are sure that [He is] that Christ, the Son of the living God." {John 6:69} There isn't any better example of One who truly is the Son of God, and knew it. So what did He do, this Divine Son of God, when He was here on earth?

He washed people's feet.

He "went about doing good," yet was despised for it. {Acts 10:38}

He "walked the roads of Palestine, healing the sick, causing the blind to see, and raising the dead." {The Living Christ}

He came to serve.

As John records,

"Jesus knowing that the Father had given all things into his hands, and that he was come from God, and went to God; He riseth from supper, and laid aside his garments; and took a towel, and girded himself. After that he poureth water into a bason, and began to wash the disciples’ feet, and to wipe them with the towel wherewith he was girded." {John 13:3-5}

In other words, knowing who He was, where He came from, and where He was going impelled him to serve.

This, being a child of God means that you have been called to serve.

As Christ Himself taught,

"Ye call me Master and Lord: and ye say well; for so I am. If I then, your Lord and Master, have washed your feet; ye also ought to wash one another’s feet. For I have given you an example, that ye should do as I have done to you. If ye know these things, happy are ye if ye do them." {John 13:13-15,17}

You are a child of God. The supreme Governor of the universe, the Creator of everything, the all-powerful, all-knowing, infinitely loving God is your eternal Father.

What this means is that you can be like Him. You can be good, and pure, and happy as He is. :)

What this means is that you are loved.

And what this means is that you and I have been called to serve. Go, and do as Christ did :)



**for another example of how children of a king behave, go here.** :)

remember who you are

first of all, this.

   

 classic disney, you do me right :) there is all sorts of spiritual goodness in that clip :)

Let's just start with this line ~ Remember who you are.

One thing that's been on my mind as BYU's starting up again is the idea of identity and where it comes from. BYU can be a difficult climate to live in since there are so many people who are better than you at what you're "best at" haha. Everyone there is above average or better, which makes everyone just... average. You may have been the valedictorian/concert pianist/drama star/all-star athlete/funniest/nicest/most spiritual person in your home ward or in high school, but everyone at BYU was "that kid" in high school. Thus, if you've built your identity around what you thought made you special, coming to BYU and having that stripped away can cause a major identity crisis and be extremely difficult.

Thus it becomes apparent that we must build our identities upon something else. Something unchanging, something intrinsic.

Let's look at a story from the Bible of someone who did just that... Joseph in Egypt!

Joseph is an individual who could've very well based his identity on all he had going for him. Favorite son, best-dressed in Canaan, most visionary... the kid was sweeping in the ancient Israelite superlatives.

... Until one day when all of that was taken from him. He was literally stripped of his coat of many colors, taken away from his family, his country, his language... everything that, to an outside observer, made him "him." Yet somehow, he held true to who he was and demonstrated incredible integrity in the face of great temptation.

i feel like Joseph is always making
 this same pose... poor guy ;)

How was Joseph able to hold true and stick to his values even when literally no one around him knew who he was or what those values even were? I believe that Joseph had a proper understand of who he really was, separate from outside conditions. This is how he was able to answer Potiphar's wife with "how then can I do this great wickedness, and sin against God?"

Even when he was thrown into prison and once again had everything taken from him - favorite servant of Potiphar no more - he held true to who he was and thrived even in a prison setting. His actions reflected his knowledge about who he really was. And eventually, after many years, he was able to do great things for Egypt and reunite with his family. {Genesis 37, 39-47}

So who was Joseph? Who are we?

Joseph knew, as we can know, that:

"Ye are the children of the Lord your God." 

"All of you are children of the most High."

 "Ye are the sons of the living God." 

"We are the offspring of God." 

"We are the children of God."

{Deut. 14:1, Ps. 82:6, Hosea 1:10, Acts 17:29, Romans 8:16}

This is an identity that doesn't change. No matter where we are or what our circumstances are, nothing can change our identity that we are children of God, who loves us. This knowledge changes us and affects our every action, as it did Joseph's. No matter where you're going to school, or if you're going to school at all, this identity does not change.

To Simba's protest of, "I'm not who I used to be," Mufasa countered "Remember who you are" - intrinsically and eternally.

You are more than what you have become. You must take your place. Remember who you are - a child of the Most High God, eternally beloved of Him, created in His image :)

:)

this is a fact

God loves His children 

He even (especially?) loves His teenagers
He loves them so much He won't even let people like this -->
mess things up for them. :)

This summer working at efy one of the huge lessons that I learned was that God loves and is aware of His teenagers. Feeling Him work through me to touch their lives was the most incredible experience.

A metaphor:
In the Book of Mormon, a prophet called the Brother of Jared "did molten out of a rock sixteen small stones; and they were white and clear, even as transparent glass; and he did carry them in his hands upon the top of the mount, and cried unto the Lord, saying...
"Behold these things which I have molten out of the rock. And I know, O Lord, that thou hast all power, and can do whatsoever thou wilt for the benefit of man; therefore touch these stones, O Lord, with thy finger, and prepare them that they may shine forth in darkness."
...And it came to pass that when the brother of Jared had said these words, behold, the Lord stretched forth his hand and touched the stones one by one with his finger... And thus the Lord caused stones to shine in darkness, to give light unto men, women, and children, that they might not cross the great waters in darkness." {Ether 3:1,3-4,6; 6:3}

"Stones to shine in darkness."

That's how I feel. :) I'm just a stone, but God works with stones, and if I allow the Lord to touch me and His Light to shine through me I can shine in darkness :) My job is just to become as transparent as possible.

God is so powerful that even we in our weakness can't hold back His awesome work from progressing. His love and His power and strongest, period. the end, amen.

"No unhallowed hand can stop the work from progressing" ~Joseph Smith

decide what to be, and go be it.

I've had the most beautiful sunday.

Last night as I went to bed I was thinking of one of my favourite songs, and I decided my life motto for right now is
"decide what to be, and go be it."

The full line is, "If you're loved by Someone, you're never rejected; decide what to be, and go be it." I like to captalize Someone and make it about God, because His love is eternal and never ending and infinite and passionate and pursuing and everything great, and I'm never rejected; therefore, I decide what to be, and go be it. :)

Then, as if God was reconfirming that this is what He wants for me right now, my whole church experience went right in line with that. During testimony meeting I had my testimony of the power of the Book of Mormon to change lives and of the changing, enabling power of the Atonement reaffirmed. I know that the Book of Mormon testifies of Christ, and that "there is a power in the book which will begin to flow into your lives the moment you begin a serious study of the book." (ezra taft benson) And I know that the miracle of the Atonement is not just that we can be cleansed and consoled but that we can be transformed. Brad Wilcox taught that,

“Latter-day Saints know not only what Jesus has saved us from but also what He has saved us for... As my friend Omar Canals puts it, “While many Christians view Christ’s suffering as only a huge favor He did for us, Latter-day Saints also recognize it as a huge investment He made in us... When we understand grace, we understand that God is long-suffering, that change is a process, and that repentance is a pattern in our lives. When we understand grace, we understand that the blessings of Christ’s Atonement are continuous and His strength is perfect in our weakness. When we understand grace, we can... continue in patience until we are perfected... Grace is not a booster engine that kicks in once our fuel supply is exhausted. Rather, it is our constant energy source.” (emphasis added)

C.S. Lewis also has some awesome words about becoming perfected that I love, including:

You must realise from the outset that the goal towards which He is beginning to guide you is absolute perfection; and no power in the whole universe, except you yourself, can prevent Him from taking you to that goal.

My friend John also bore an awesome testimony about how God can find you anywhere, which was inspiring.

Then, in Sunday School, the lesson was on agency and God taught me about my power to choose.

I found 2 Nephi 2:27 to be an interesting verse... it's organized with some neat parallels and I like what it doesn't say as much as what it does. If I break it down graphically, it goes like this:

It goes choice/consequence, whose power it's by, and what they want it for us. I like how it's inferred that Jesus seeks that all men might be filled with joy, even as He is. :) Way to go, Book of Mormon!

So I learned from Sunday School that I have been given the power to choose how I want my life to go. Added to what I learned in testimony meeting, God is telling me to use the agency He has given make the right choice, and He will help me carry it out.

And then, because God loves to teach me line upon line, our Relief Society lesson was on dilligence and God taught me that it's the daily "small things" that count and that I shouldn't give up just because I'm not seeing immediate results. Specifically we talked about prayer and scripture study, and prayer especially is something that I've struggled with... feeling like they're effective, like I'm really talking to God and not just thinking thoughts in my head and kinda "aiming them towards heaven." I was taught that I need to be dilligent, and persistent, and that I shouldn't give up. I thought about how I treat phone calls with my Mom and how much I love and treasure and delight in those and how they're my connection to home, and then I thought if I treated prayer like that, like a connection to my real Home and if I could delight in and treasure prayer in the same way... how much more effective and rewarding and delicious prayer would become to me.
And we talked about how it's about developing a relationship and I thought about how I wouldn't just give up on a relationship after one conversation. Relationships take dedication and determination and dilligence, and that's what I'm going to give my relationship with God. And it reminded me of this blog post I read this morning about how real love comes from doing the smallest of things:

"The times where we have the best excuses not to do something, and we do it anyways, are the times that real devotion comes through. I could say 'goodness Heavenly Father, its so late and I have to get up early tomorrow, you'll understand if I don't read my scriptures tonight right?'... but where does that get me? It gets me 15 more minutes of sleep and 15 less minutes of teachability." 

And when the teacher asked us to look up "diligence" in the topical guide it lead me to Moroni 8:26, which taught me that "perfect love... endureth by diligence unto prayer."
It all just reaffirmed my resolution to become a better person through those "small things" like daily scripture study and prayer and temple attendance. God wants me to be passionate for Him, and that's what I've resolved to be.

So today God taught me that if I'm unsatisfied with who I am and where I'm going, like I have been lately, I can change. He will help me change. That's what the Atonement is for. To that end, I have made a plan for scripture study that I'm really excited about, and I have firmly resolved to say my morning and evening prayers daily, without fail. I'm relying wholly upon the merits of Him who is mighty to save, and I'm trusting in the power of His Atonement. I believe Christ when He says that He will make me perfect, and I'm excited to use my agency and faith and determination to make it happen and to become a new creature through Christ :) Yay, Jesus!

President Monson's message last month was really inspired and I'm so blessed to have been able to study it; it teaches me to have a positive attitude, belief in my ability to change and in Christ's desire and ability to change me, and the courage to try again each day :) yay, prophets! 

and now I'm sitting on the couch with a mug of apple cinnamon oatmeal, just really happy and loving this sunday :)

also I love this song :)

the end.

living the abundant life

Last Sunday I had the opportunity to speak in church on President Monson's First Presidency message this month - Living the Abundant Life. I normally don't write out my talks word-for-word, but for some reason I did this time and so I've copied it here if anyone is interested (probably just my mom and dad...) :) Enjoy!

Hello friends,

For those of you who don’t know me, my friends call me Cece and my favourite holiday is Christmas, followed by Easter, Thanksgiving, and my birthday (in that order.) New Years Day I’d rank somewhere between Valentine’s and St. Patrick’s Day, and New Years Eve falls somewhere around like... Labor Day. I’ve just never been a fan, and after the spiritual high and focus on family and our Saviour at Christmas, it just seems sort of lame to have a holiday about Martinelli’s and weight loss. Plus being constantly challenged to make New Years resolutions is overwhelming for me. But that’s just me.
That being said, I’d like to share one of my favourite Christmas scriptures - John 10:10. The Saviour is teaching us about His mission, why He came to earth, and what He says is, “I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly.” I love that - not only did He come to give us life (how awesome!) but life more abundantly.
The First Presidency message this month is a challenge from President Monson to “undertake a personal, diligent, significant quest for... the abundant life—a life filled with an abundance of success, goodness, and blessings.” This is a New Years resolution that I can get behind - a challenge from a prophet of God, given to us for this exact time, helping us to take advantage of the Saviour’s awesome gift for us. My hope is that as I share some thoughts from this message, the Spirit will teach each of us what we can do to more fully partake in this abundant life the Saviour came to bring us.

what is love?

baby don't hurt me..... ;)

So I re-read The Four Loves today
& it gave me some food for thought.

for a few weeks i've been trying to decide how to love somebody and if/when to just give up. trying to do what's healthy for me and what God wants for us.

this is what I read:

"We shall draw nearer to God, not by trying to avoid the sufferings inherent in all loves, but by accepting them and offering them to Him; throwing away all defensive armour. If our hearts need to be broken, and if He chooses this as the way in which they should break, so be it."

"It is probably impossible to love any human being simply "too much." We may love him too much in proportion to our love for God; but it is the smallness of our love for God, not the greatness of our love for the man, the constitues the inordinacy."

"In everyone, and of course in ourselves, there is that which requires forbearance, tolerance, forgiveness. The necessity of practising these virtues first sets us, forces us, upon the attempt to turn - more strictly, to let God turn - our love into Charity."

So i'm turning this over to God. asking Him to turn this "love" into Charity. offering Him everything (or trying to.) praying for increased love for Him & others. we'll see how this goes :)

from tabernacle to temple

Today I was thinking about the Provo Tabernacle and sort of relating it to myself... see if you can follow my thinking :)

 The Provo Tabernacle was wonderful, beloved, doing a good work for the Lord and being great and used for lots of good things.

Then, about a year ago there was a terrible fire and the Tabernacle was seriously damaged, leaving only the exterior walls standing.

Because of this fire, the Church has decided to rebuild it and turn it into the second temple of the Church in the city of Provo! Which will be even more awesome and glorious than it was before.

"The purpose of the gospel is to make... good men better." ~David O. McKay

So I'm thinking that, like the Provo Tabernacle, I could be doing good. Then a fire or trial comes, and it's heyyy what the heck I had a good thing going here! And I don't see what the purpose is in tearing my good thing down and burning it up. But the Lord has something so much greater in mind for me. And my "being a tabernacle" time is done. Time for me to become a temple, if I'll let the Lord work on me. God uses trials and hard times to help me become even better and more purified and sacred than I ever thought I could be :)

This is sort of like C.S. Lewis' "Imagine yourself as a living house" quote, if you're familiar with that at all. :)

Anywaysssssssss.... that's what I was thinking about today! Happy Sunday! :)

photo sources:

 1.2.3.

God wants our lives to make a difference

In thinking about what happened last monday, I admit I asked myself why God would let something like this happen. I know He is always watching over us and that He cares for us infinitely, I just couldn't see a reason for Him to allow this to happen. I know that we have to be allowed to use our agency, even to make wrong decisions, but the girl involved has a mental illness. How does agency come into play in a situation like that? Only God knows. This world is so wicked... but at the same time there is so much more goodness. As Helen Keller said,

"Although the world is full of suffering, it is full also of the overcoming of it."

Keeping up with the news stories this week I have been inspired by the people of my hometown and how God has answered prayers for healing and compassion. It has been truly amazing. I have been especially impressed by how the young people have been handling the situation with grace and courage.

One of my friends who goes to that high school posted on facebook,

"We want our lives to make sense, God wants our lives to make a difference. This week, we did it, together."

I've been pondering the first part of that post a lot lately. "God wants our lives to make a difference." I definitely see that this incident has made a difference in the lives of hundreds of people. At times when my life doesn't make sense, I can remember that God is using me to make a difference. It changes the way I live my life. God has a plan for my life, different from the one that I might have imagined. But my life doesn't have to make sense to me. God's in control of it, and I trust Him absolutely to use me to make a positive difference in the world if I let him.

I choose to see God's hand in everything. The recovery of the young girl who was hurt has been miraculous. Doctors say that if she had been stabbed just 4 millimeters to one side, she would have bled out immediately. They also say that if the emergency respondents had chosen to send her to the trauma hospital farther away instead of the one they chose, she would've died en route. As it was, she died several times that day and the doctors were able to bring her back. I believe that God was with her that day, answering hundreds of prayers for her and her safety. God truly did take care of those in need that day, and in the days since and still to come. Miracles sometimes come down to minutes and millimeters.

God allows us our agency. Terrible things happen, I don't always know why. But I know that God is always in control, and that He loves us, and that He has a plan for us. I know that He answers our prayers. I know that He is always with us, even and especially in the midst of tragedy. And when we follow Him, our lives will make a difference.

a prayer for healing and peace

This morning as I got on facebook and started scrolling through the newsfeed, I noticed several posts by kids from my old high school about a lockdown. As I looked further into it, I learned that there had been a violent incident involving three young girls. {If you'd like the details, you can get them from the school website.} I called my mom and texted a few friends to see if they'd heard the news. I have three siblings at that high school, and I was worried about their safety and emotional well-being. I was able to talk to my oldest brother on the phone tonight, and he says they're all doing fine, though obviously shaken by what happened.

In thinking about what has happened, a few thoughts and quotes have come to mind.

One thing that always boggles my mind is the dichotomy of good and evil in the world. How can such awful and sorrowful events occur on the same day in the same world, same town, and same facebook page as such beautiful and joyful events?

Gordon B. Hinckley said,

‎I have seen much of ugliness in this world. Most of it is the work of man. But I think I have seen much more of beauty. I marvel at the majestic works of the Creator. How magnificent they are. And they are all the work of the Son of God. 

The ugliness of what happened today is shocking. But beauty is still present in this world, even in tragedy.

Today I have had a continual prayer in my heart for the girls involved in the incident, both the two who were victims and the one who attacked them. Everyone needs our prayers and our hearts. God's love is infinite. God's love is Healing. "I am the Lord that healeth thee." {Ex. 15:26} Please pray for healing for these girls, their families, and all who were affected today.

I have been inspired and brought to tears by the unity I've seen among people in my hometown who have banded together in prayer and hope, and by the courage demonstrated by a close friend of my brother who heard the girls scream for help. I know that, as Helen Keller said,

Although the world is full of suffering, it is full also of the overcoming of it. 

Witnessing my young friends and siblings overcome and unite has been inspiring. I pray that they will continue to be able to overcome, and that they will have peace.

It makes me terribly sad that my younger siblings and friends have had to experience this. No teenager should ever have to deal with the emotions that come when a peer and friend is involved in such a violent attack at school. It's unfair, and I feel for the young people involved. I pray over them, that they will have peace and healing at this time as well.

One of my young friends at the high school wrote,

Everyone has a story. God's taking care of those in need today. Praying for safety & compassion at our school.

I join in her prayer for safety and compassion and add a prayer for her as well. God's hand is over everything.

I believe in hope. I believe in thinking of others before myself. I believe in God's infinite love and care for all of us. And what I believe is what gets me through.

God has told us,

Fear thou not, for I am with thee. Be not dismayed, for I am thy God. I with strengthen thee, yea, I will help thee.

Tonight, as I pray for peace and healing over all who were affected, I trust in God's great love and compassion for all of us. I know that I cannot fully fathom what happened today, but I know with my whole being that Jesus Christ is the Savior of the world, and that His Love brings peace, and healing, and that He understands. I know that He lives, that He loves us, and that He cares about each and every person in this world. I pray that others can know this as well.

I've been listening to beautiful things and there will be a day tonight, along with some instrumental hymns.

There will be a day

with no more tears

no more pain

and no more fears...

but until that day

we'll hold on to You always.

pray for love. pray for peace.

The Prodigal Son

Today in New Testament we also talked about the story of the Prodigal Son, which is of course very famous. Today however we added some details that really deepened my understanding of the story.

One was that the Prodigal Son basically said "I wish you were dead" to his father when he asked for his inheritance immediately. When he gathered all his things together, he was saying that he wasn't coming back. And when he took his journey to a far country, he was trying to get as far away from his father as possible. Ouch.

One of the best lines of the parable is, "When he was yet a great way off, his father saw him, and had compassion, and ran." His father had been watching for him, waiting for him. He knew his child would return. The image of a father running at breakneck speed toward his child makes me choke up a bit. He had compassion. He ran to his child, and fell on his neck, and kissed him.

The father gives his wayward son three gifts: a robe, a ring, and shoes. All of those have to be fitted. You can't just give someone a random ring or a random pair of shoes and hope that they fit. This shows that the father knew his child would return and was waiting for him. He had forgiven his son long before the son ever returned home and thought to ask forgiveness.

This shows me how my Father in Heaven feels about me, and how He forgives me and loves me even before I repent and return to Him. It also shows me how I ought to forgive others. I don't need them to come to me and ask forgiveness; I can freely forgive them as my Father has forgiven me.

You Matter to Him

So I feel as though I may just give it up and turn this into my New Testament blog.......... because every class is seriously SO great. :)

Today we talked about a few stories from Luke. One, found in Luke 19, is the story of Zacchæus, who was chief among the publicans, rich, and "little of stature." When Jesus comes, Zacchæus tries to see him but can't because he is too short. So he runs ahead a bit and climbs a tree. When Jesus passes under, He looks up, sees Zacchæus, and says that He will dine in Zacchæus' house. Zacchæus recieves him joyously, and promises to give half of all he has to the poor and to restore anything he has wrongly taken away {in his job as a publican this happened a lot} fourfold. Though the other people call him a sinner, Jesus says that this day is salvation come to this house, forsomuch as he also is a son of Abraham. "For the Son of man is come to seek and to save that which was lost."

One of the lessons I learned from this story is that we all have weaknesses, but I don't need to let these keep me from seeing the Saviour. I may be a little short in some areas, but that shouldn't stop me. I can show a little gumption and determination and "climb a tree" if necessary to get to my Saviour. I would imagine that Zacchæus lost a bit of his dignity as a grown man climbing a sycomore tree, but getting close to Jesus was more important to him. Is it most important to me? How desperate am I to get to Christ?

Another thing I learn is that we are never lost to the Saviour. How often is a person walking along when they just randomly look up to see if a person is in the tree above them? Jesus knew exactly where Zacchæus was at all times. We are never lost to him. We are never insignificant to him. We matter to him. "For the Son of man is come to seek and to save that which was lost."

forgiving

This I know: God is all-loving, all-knowing, and all-powerful.

Because He is all-loving, He wants us to be happy.

Because He is all-knowing, He knows what will make us happy.

Because He is all-powerful, He can make us happy if we only use our will to choose His will.

One of of His commandments designed to bring us ultimate happiness is forgiveness:

"I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you; That ye may be the children of your Father which is in heaven.. Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father which is in heaven is perfect." Matt 5:44-45, 48

Of course, this all sounds like a great idea until you're faced with actually having to forgive someone who doesn't deserve it, or love someone who persecutes you. C.S. Lewis wrote,

"I admit that this means loving people who have nothing loveable about them. But then, has oneself anything loveable about it? You love it simply because it is yourself... We have then to go on and apply the rule to all the other selves. Perhaps it makes it easier if we remember that that is how He loves us. Not for any nice, attractive qualities we think we have, but just because we are the things called selves." 

Dieter F. Uchtdorf teaches us more about how God loves us:

just fyi

God gives us calm

and forgiveness

and love

and peace

and i'm incredibly thankful.

what an awesome God we have

how loving, how kind,

how present

♥

Jesus takes care of us. 

Forgiveness is in His hands, and He's all I need to make me happy. :)

‎"It is not on our forgiveness any more than on our goodness that the world’s healing hinges, but on His. When He tells us to love our enemies, He gives, along with the command, the love itself."
~Corrie ten Boom

a fourth-watch God

today in new testament we talked about how we have a fourth-watch God and we have an immediate God. meaning, sometimes God lets us struggle until the "fourth-watch," or last possible moment, before He comes to us. Why? Well we don't always know God's purposes {though we know they are wise}, but one reason I think comes from The Screwtape Letters, by C.S. Lewis: 

"It is during such trough periods, much more than during the peak periods, that it is growing into the sort of creature He wants it to be... He wants them to learn to walk and must therefore take away His hand."

God has to let us struggle, because by struggling we grow. If He always rushed in and saved us the moment we needed help, we could never become who we need to become. So, in His infinite mercy and wisdom, sometimes he let's us be "tossed with the waves," so to speak, and comes to us in what seems the very last possible moment.

This has happened to me many times in my own life. Sometimes God makes me wait what feels like a very long time {though really it's usually only a few days.......} before I feel better about things. Most recently, I was upset and stressed about school and personal life, and it seemed to be dragging on forever. I made it to the Relief Society Broadcast however, and it was just exactly what I needed to hear, and I felt at peace with the situation and loved by God. So perfect.

Sometimes, though, our God is an immediate God. He knows when to step in and rescue us immediately {and it's not up to us to tell Him which situation is which.} :) These situations can also be incredibly faith-strengthening. Not even two hours after the Broadcast ended, I got a text that again put my mind at ease. The situation isn't perfectly resolved, but I'm confident that we're back on the right path.

These personal examples don't exactly go along with the principle Brother Smith was talking about, but I wanted to record them and be thankful for a loving Heavenly Father who answers prayers in His own perfect timing, who loves me enough to let me struggle and grow, and who will never abandon me or let me drown. :)

xox, happy monday :)

The Great Blondin

Charles Blondin was basically the Evel Knievel of his day. But instead of riding motorcycles, he walked tightropes. And in 1859, he decided he was going to tightrope walk across the gorge below Niagara Falls. 

Great idea, right? But he did it! He walked all the way from the American side to the Canadian side, and when he got there, over the thunderous applause he cried, "That's not all!" and turned around and walked back. The crowds watching went wild! When he got back to the American side he bowed and said, "Thank you! Now, who believes I could do it again?" The people cheered loudly. The Great Blondin smiled and asked, "Who believes I could do it again - while pushing this wheelbarrow across with me?" The people cheered even louder! They believed! And then the Great Blondin asked - "Then who wants to get in the wheelbarrow!" and the crowd was suddenly silent. 

It seems clear, then, that there is a very important difference between belief and the sort of faith that would lead us to action. James E. Talmage wrote: 

"Belief ... may consist in a merely intellectual assent, while faith implies such confidence and conviction as will impel to action ... Belief is in a sense passive, an agreement or acceptance only; faith is active and positive, embracing such reliance and confidence as will lead to works. Faith in Christ comprises belief in Him, combined with trust in Him. One cannot have faith without belief; yet he may believe and still lack faith. Faith is vivified, vitalized, living belief." {Articles of Faith, p. 98-99, emphasis added}

In order to have "faith in the Lord Jesus Christ," {Articles of Faith 1:4}, we must not only believe in Him, but also place our trust in Him {Proverbs 3:5}.