sunbeams :)

This summer I was asked to teach the 3 year old's sunday school class, also known as sunbeams. I was not looking forward to this. But it turned out to be the GREATEST THING EVER, as illustrated by the anecdotes below :)
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hazards of my new church jobbie {kiddie wrangling}: they took my fingernail. i watch the little 3 year olds and try to help them hold still while their teacher teaches them about how hands are a gift from God and we should use them to do nice things. bahaha. one child told me he would kick me in the nuts if i didn't let him escape within ten minutes. he also threatened to jump out the window (it doesn't open) and told me that he knew karate. the children were also fascinated with my fingernails and kept poking them. one even licked them. it was weird. but they're precious :)

 i put my chair up against the door to prevent the children from opening it and escaping. one tried the entire lesson to remove me, with no luck. i have easily 150lbs on him. but anyways, someone came around to give us a 5 minute warning, she tried to open the door but of course i was in the way. so i quickly moved, she opened the door and said, "Oh sorry!" I responded, "You're welcome!"
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Today the lesson was "I belong to a family." We held up a picture of a bird family, and asked "Who will teach the baby birds to fly?" and one little girl says, "ME!!" :)
Also we told the little boy that he had to answer our questions with words, not spit, or he wouldn't get a cookie.
And then I drew a picture of a dragon and he said, "WOAH. DID YOU DRAW THAT, ALL BY YOURSELF?!!?! I WANT TO DRAW A DRAGON JUST LIKE THAT. I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE STUUUPID, BUT IT ISN'T!"
My weekly confidence boost ♥ Yes, Jett. I drew this, all by myself. I know I'm wonderful :) :)
And then we get to sing.
Sundays are love :)
Oh and though they on occasion threaten me with bodily harm if I don't give them their way, they are also snuggly little dears who like me to hold them. And they enjoy my fingernails and jewelry. So it's love :)

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today I taught the children the story of Shadrach, Meschach, and Abednego. And the firey furnace. The moral was supposed to be that when we keep God's commandments, He will protect us. After my great lesson, complete with an illustration, one of the children mutters, "or they could just've weared sunscreen... then they wouldn't get burneded."

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today, during the main church service, the 3 year old I'm babysitting says (kind of loudly), "Um, please can you change my diaper??"
I whispered yes in just a minute after the sermon, and she said, "Um, but, my diaper iss leakinggg..."
joy.
also the sunbeams wanted to know why the pioneers didn't drive their cars through across the plains.

we love sunbeams! :)

I love my Gramma.

Story. but first, the tradition: Making pyramids out of people on their hands&knees and taking pictures at the family reunion. There are 10 granddaughters so it's always worked out perfectly. Soooooo we go about trying to do that, but there are a few problems so we decide to make a sitting down pyramid.... picture attached.

four years ago

two years ago

 

THEN..... My Grandmother comments, QUOTE: "My blooming bouquet...................​..interesting set of circumstances not dealt with in previous years i.e. pregnancy, new mom, and cleavage..................​....hence the modified version."

Guess which adjective is about me. Hint: I'm not pregnant or a new mom. :)))

flat tire....?

Once upon a time I was alone in a strangers cabin in the woods. Don't ask questions, let me finish. I had a flat tire. I called my Daddy. Daddy told me the number to call. When the lady (Rhonda) asked if I knew the make and model of the car, my response was something like "uhh...... metro? a... chevy? metro? thing?" Rhonda asked if I knew the year. "Uhhhhhhhhh.... 199....... 7?? 8???" {it is neither of these.} Rhonda then asked if I knew the color. "YES! It is white." "Great," Rhonda said. Then she put me on hold and reject 80s music started playing. It was a truly wonderful start to my morning. Then she came back on the line and said someone would be out there in about an hour. Also she didn't understand me when I said "Snohomish" and I had to repeat it and spell it, I kid you not, four times. How does "Snohomish" sound like "Tacoma"?
So I sat down with the ice cream I had brought from home and ate it all while I watched Harry Potter. After about 40 minutes I received a phone call from the tire-fixing man. He had a flat tire. And would be late. Let me repeat. The man coming to fix my flat tire. Had a flat tire.
When he arrived, it was a very exciting part of the movie. I didn't hear him knock the first time. I think I caught it the second time.
So remember that this is not my house. It is not my friends house. It is a strangers house. With dogs. Who are barking at the tirefixingman. I do not do well with animals. I attempt to shoo them away with my foot. "Go away, Dog." Tireman holds out his hand and the dogs sniff it. Tireman is friendly. I am awkward.
SO THEN. He asks me where the keys are. 
"Are they in the ignition or something?" with a knowing smile. I pull them out of my pocket and say uhhh they're right here? Tireman is confused. 
"Then how come you can't get in your car?" 
"...... I can get in my car." 
"............ I'm a locksmith. They called me here for a car door unlocking." It is at this moment that I notice the giant POP N LOCK sign on his car. 
*awkward laugher* "Oh welll.... nope! it's a flat tire! hah hah hah....."
So locksmith man goes about fixing my tire. He tells me "You know why the tire is flat right?" 
"No......" 
"It's cause it's bald!" 
"Oh... ha ha ha! Yeah it's not my car...." 
Locksmithman is very friendly. He makes comments about the cabin and the dogs. they are not mine. I ask him if he needs me to stay or if I can go back inside. I don't add that I want to finish watching Harry Potter. He says sure and I go back to my ice cream and my harry.
Then he finishes. He is very friendly and reminds me not to take the corners at 90mph! I creepily wait for him to leave.
Then I leave.
The end.

elevator adventures

Elevators are weird. They're like boxes... that you get in... and then they move you. I dunno, does anyone else think that's weird? I think they're just really.... weird. 

Also, I always check for creepers before I get into an elevator. Just in case. 

I don't usually ride them. Unless I don't feel like taking the stairs that day. Which is usually the case if it's more than one flight. I don't like to get out of breath and sweaty when I could just ride up in a convenient metal box.

Anyways, normally I am alone in the elevator. But sometimes, I am not. And those are the times where my heart just stops whenever the elevator makes a noise - because how awkward would it be to be trapped in an elevator with a stranger? What are you supposed to do? Make awkward conversation? I am terrible at small talk. By myself, I would just text someone. But if someone else were there I would feel rude... and uncertain. 

And awkward.

grocery shopping, pt 2 :)

awkward grocery store moments :)

1) Willing a woman not to buy the 75cent dinner rolls by whispering "don't buy ‘em, don't buy ‘em, put ‘em back, put ‘em back" until she went away.

2) Yelling to Lyndy that there were 75c dinner rolls and to come buy them before someone else did. {She was a few aisles away.}

3) Talking to the self-check machine, like I always do, telling it to be quiet, and the worker coming over to check on me. Oh no, I’m fine... no, thanks though, yeah I'm fine.

4) Describing to Alannah how exactly fiber works at cleaning out your bowel and then noticing the two boys nearby, laughing at us. She wanted to know!

‎5) Being really hungry and so opening my lemon yogurt, but then not having a spoon and so using the tin foil lid and feeling like I was eating trash.

6) Not being able to steer my shopping cart whilst licking my tin foil lid/spoon and so awkwardly almost running into this random lady who looked at me like I was dumb... it's really hard to lick and steer.

:) I'm going to miss these grocery store excursions :) 

cleaning.

Today was cleaning check day. I hate this day. I am actually terrible at cleaning. So once a month, a crabby lady comes around to tell me so. {Actually she's pretty nice, but it makes me feel better to call her crabby.} More often than not, I fail the check and have to pay a $5 fee, which in my impoverished college-student state I cannot afford. So today, I was determined not to fail. My assignment was to clean the bathroom. Not knowing where to start, I attacked the bathtub with every chemical I could find, which happened to include Shout! stain removal. When my roommate got home, she laughed and told me it was for cleaning clothes. Well. No one told me.  

I also considered using mouthwash, but didn't. I was hoping that the cleaning lady would be overpowered by the chemical-y smell and at least know that I had tried. Maybe then she would take pity on me.

As it turned out, I passed! Take that, cleaning lady. I cleaned that tub like nobody's business. Got down and scrubbed it. Yeah. 

Anyways, only one cleaning check remains until I am free of this apartment, for which I am grateful.

As a side note, terrible as I am at the basics of cleaning, I am basically pro at plunging a toilet, a skill that has proven invaluable as our toilet breaks down at least once every few weeks. {Read the story of the original flood here.} 

So thanks, Mom and Dad, for teaching me how the be the greatest toilet plunger in the apartment. I may be helpless at cleaning bathrooms and scrubbing ovens, but I can fix any darn toilet in the complex.

And I'm sorry for spending my entire senior year insisting that I already knew how to clean and didn't need to practice.

you were right.

The Story of Cece and the Bully

Once upon a time, when I was in kindergarten, there was a bully. He was in third grade. He told me once that he was going to punch me so hard I would "fart out my mouth and talk out my butt." I said "...okay" and walked away.

But anyways, I told my mom about this, and we read the Friend magazine and talked about what Jesus would do and how the bully probably didn't have any friends so maybe I should ask if he wanted to be friends. 

So I did. I climbed up on the playset {which was third-grader territory} and asked the bully if he wanted to be friends. He looked at me funny, said he already had friends, and then I think he called me a mean name and pushed me off the slide. So I walked back to my friends and played hopscotch. 

And then he brought a knife to school and got expelled or suspended or something.

And I went on to become successful and brilliant and beautiful.

The end :) 

fast food adventures with baby bals

isn't she gorgeous?? :)

One of the activities that I really enjoy is getting fast food. Especially in Snohomish, and especially with my favourite alison balison bayubi :) Today, we went to pick up taco bell for julia at work. it went something like this:

We order.
We remember that Julia likes hot sauce.
"Can we have the hottest hot sauce?"
Worker: *leans out the window* *uses sexy man voice* "Well, I've been told it's a matter of opinion.... ;)"
"Uhh.... we'll take the fire sauce??"
~moments later~
"Do you guys have water?"
Worker: "Yes we do!"
"Can I have some... of it...?"

and that is why I love fast food.

early morning adventures

today at 6am i realized that the delta logo is a DELTA. like alpha beta gamma delta. triangle. like an airplane. only it's a delta. and my aunt just pointed out that delta means change.
this is just blowing my whole world.
you know how when you find something out and it just changes everything? the way i pronounce delta in my head is different now.
so. mind-altering.

in other news, the stewardness gave me an entire can of ginger ale to myself (normally they just fill up a cup with ice [like, FULL of ice] and add a few drops of soda) but today i got the whole can, AND double cookies because i said they were delicious.

i also went through the full body scanner that sees you naked. i felt like a spy. it was kind of awesome.

the moral of the story is always be nice to the people with cookies.

and so concludes the early morning adventures of cece.

shopping

Lyndy and I just bought 80 biscuits. Because they were 10 for $10.... but only if you bought ten cans. Otherwise we would've had to pay $2.19 per can! And we really wanted biscuits. At a good price. So we bought. Eighty. Biscuits.

~The ensuing apartment conversation~

Lyndy: I don't think you've seen the fridge, it looks like we're prepared for a nuclear bomb... if nothing survived a nuclear bomb.. but biscuits?? {We later dubbed this event, the Biscopalypse.} 

Me: WE ARE SO PREPARED. We're just getting started on our year's supply of food!! Follow the prophet, yo :) :)

Lyndy: If only we had bought TWENTY DOLLARS of biscuits we prolly coulda lasted til spring semester..

Me: Yeah but then they would have expired!!! This way, we've got until Christmas :) :)

Lyndy: Too true... after thanksgiving we'll stock up again.

Alannah: Why do I have a feeling that if there was a nuclear bomb, you wouldn't share your biscuits with me?

Me: WE WOULD NOT SHARE.

Lyndy: Maybe you'll think twice when we offer to split a 10 for 10 deal, Alannah..

//

2/14/11 EDIT: We now all hate biscuits. The smell makes us nauseous. I hate them with all of my stomach. So. Vomitous. 

the story of the slarf

~transcript of a conversation between roommates via facebook chat~

dude

this exists

http://www.etsy.com/listing/44901655/sleeve-scarf-fw-2010?ref=fp_treasury_1

it's called a slarf

what thet!

the*

that is redic

hahahaha

i want one

except it's 200 DOLLARS

TWO HUNDRED

WHAT THE HECK

it's too bad you can't make numbers be all caps..

i know right

i don't understand why the left arm gets left out in the cold haha

just the letters spelling out the numbers

not the same thing

literallly

out

in

the

cold

COLD

yeah fool

and def not the same

how to stem a flood.

Once upon a time, I was sleeping in my bed. At the absurdly early hour of 8:30am, my roommate wakes me up in a panic because “There’s a flood in the bathroom!!!” I was extremely confused, because I was still basically asleep. I told her to just fix it, but she said “No I need your help!!!” 
When I finally got out of bed and walked to the bathroom, it was FLOODED. COMPLETELY. FULL OF WATER. The water was starting to lap out of the bathroom and on to the carpet. In the actual toilet area there was about an inch and a half of standing water. And the toilet was SPEWING WATER. overflowing, and squirting. I did not know this was possible. 
So I just stood there, really confused and still trying to wake up while my roommate freaked out. Eventually she waded over to the toilet, (luckily it was clean water,) and I told her to lift the top off and fix it. Which worked, sort of. It stopped the overflow but the toilet was still spewing. And my blankie was getting wet. 
After a while the spewing stopped too; I forget how. 
So then I went back to sleep, basically abandoning my roommate, but I was tired. I had to wake up like 30 minutes later to go to school, so that was dumb. And as I was walking through the living room to get my breakfast, I walked through a puddle. In the carpet. squish squish. yucky. We’re still not sure how it got there because it was dry all around and not even close to the bathroom. What the heck. And I kept forgetting it was there and walking through it again. Disgusting. 
While I was asleep, my roommate had mopped up most of the water in the bathroom with rugs and towels. 
Then we were late for class…. so we left.  


I'm at the library right now.


I hope all my stuff is alright.

The end.

sorry alannah. ♥ :)

the awkwardest thing that ever happened to me and was documented and posted to the internet.

Preface: I spent a week in a cabin with my three best friends. Stayed up late, slept in past noon. Practically got hypothermia swimming in the lake. Got really sunburnt. Chased 2 muskrats named Rattigan & Cece. Ate lunch on the roof. Took fail to a new level playing horseshoes and volleyball. Won 4089 m&ms playing blackjack. Went boating. Laid out on the dock. Walked past a hobo's lair. Went for a midnight dip. It was the perfect start to the summer :)

On the drive home............................

We see some guy with a camera, taking pictures of us!! He holds up a sign to the window with a blog address. So a few weeks later, we check it out. This is what we found.

 QUOTE: "Okay - now - here's the scoop, so we passed this car full of girls just outside of Medical Lake. The driver, she's looking thrilled. The passengers are all asleep or in their own little worlds."

 "as I was saying... snoozerville."

 "Now - let's get the party started...they found our photo project funny apparently."

// YEAH we did you crazy!!!

here's a story for ya......

yesterday i was weeding... and i saw a little baby shrew thing!! and it was so cute. and also scary because it ran all around and over my feet, and so i tried to catch it and give it a good home, but it kept running away, but then i finally caught it and it was wriggly and it kept trying to escape and i had to recapture it a few times... and then i finally caught it and i couldn't think of anywhere to put it so i put it in this bucket that i saw... that turned out to be full of water, so i felt SO bad for almost drowning my poor baby shrew so i fished it out and saved it and i said i was sorry and that i loved it but THEN it BIT me on the thumb!! luckily i was wearing gloves so it just like pinched the rubber. but it was still scary so i dropped it. and it scampered away and i chased after it... but it was gone and i never saw it again.

and at the end of all this, my family had been watching me. and jacob said "you looked and sounded a lot like arthur when you were doing that."


i'll take that as a compliment :) :)

my best friend ♥

lessons from prom dress shopping

My children will never go hungry
Ross employees can only count to 8. 
Ross employees need you to put your items on a rack before they can count them.
Arthur feels the need to carry a knife with him in Edmonds
Every prom dress in the world is disgustingly revealing
White = wedding, Black = funeral, Red = no
Arthur feels threatened by small asian women
Zippers hate me
Did I mention that my children will never, EVER go hungry?
Arthur likes weird dresses. Like cement that fades to light cement that fades to mermaid… large enough to hold a baby inside with me. No joke.
I’m more awkward than I ever thought I could be
Wearing matching outfits makes me extremely uncomfortable
I love yellow + navy
The best place to hide a dress? In the 3x plus size section. No one ever looks there. (I hope…..)
I love arthur. :) :)

together on prom night :) 

story of my life.

once upon a time we didn't have a teacher in sunday school so (instead of being responsible church-goers and joining another class) we played hangman. but we used church words to make it okay. anyways we were playing and i was guessing... and on the board was:

S A V I O _

...and i could not think of what it was. because all i could hear in my head was savi-o and i kept thinking of pasta and italian mob bosses. so i gave up, and i lost, and everyone laughed at me. 

the end.