you're invited...

to learn more about my mission! haha :) 

like any good first-grade journalist... i've decided to write out the "5 W's + H" of my mission {please tell me i'm not the only one who learned those in elementary school haha}

WHO 

Jesus :)

missionary me :)

Here's the thing... it's really not about me. It's mostly about Jesus, and it's mostly about other people. :)

WHAT

A mission is a voluntary act of service to God & humankind. We serve with the sole hope of making life better for other people. :)  My purpose will be to invite others to come unto Christ by helping them receive the restored gospel through faith in Jesus Christ and His Atonement, repentance, baptism, receiving the gift of the Holy Ghost, and enduring to the end. I'll be waking up early, studying my scriptures, meeting new people, sharing my testimony of Jesus Christ, teaching the gospel, and inviting people to accept Jesus Christ as their Savior and follow His example :)
I'm dedicating this part of my life to Him as completely as possible, so I'll be very selective about the music I listen to, I won't be on facebook or twitter or anything, I won't be using my phone, and I'll just be emailing my family once a week. Every one can please write me letters though! :) :)

WHEN & WHERE

I report to the Missionary Training Center on November 14th. I'll be there for a couple weeks, and then I'm headed to the Wisconsin Milwaukee mission for 18 months! :) 

HOW

I'd like to quote a Book of Mormon prophet here:

"Yea, I know that I am nothing; as to my strength I am weak; therefore I will not boast of myself, but I will boast of my God, for in His strength I can do all things; yea, behold, many mighty miracles we have wrought in this land, for which we will praise his name forever." Alma 26:12

He is how. :) 

WHY

I first considered serving a full-time mission when I was like... seven. But mostly just because my aunt was the age to go and she was thinking about it. She didn't end up serving, but the idea stuck and it felt good :) So I've sort of always planned on it, and experiences during high school and college have only strengthened that desire. 

Then, while I was working at efy, it became less an option and more a necessity haha. I felt and still feel very strongly that a mission is where I need to be as soon as possible. The gospel of Jesus Christ is something I love more than anything, and I can't think of anything more important that I could be talking about or more beautiful that I could be doing.
 I know that God lives, and I know that He loves & is aware of us. Some people don't know that. How can I not at least try to share my happiness with them? Jesus Christ atoned for the sins of the world. Because of Him, we all can have hope. How can I not share this hope with people? God has a plan for our happiness. We can be with our families forever. There is life after death. There is a purpose to our life here on earth. Somethings are too important to keep to myself.

While I was at efy, my angel Amanda shared with a group of us a verse that hit me as very few verses have before or since. I knew I wanted to serve a mission, and my application was already in the works, but I was struggling with how much I'm going to miss the things I love... my friends, my home, my family... even stupid stuff like my music and my clothes haha. The Savior's question to Peter - Lovest thou me more than these? - hit me SO HARD, and I knew my answer. I knew that this is why I'm leaving everything else I love behind. I love home. I love my friends. I love my family. But I love Jesus more. And He has asked me to feed His lambs. So I'm going.

"Behold, I am a disciple of Jesus Christ, the Son of God. I have been called of Him to declare His word among his people, that they might have everlasting life." 3 Ne. 5:13

From my call letter:

"The Lord will reward you for the goodness of your life. Greater blessings and more happiness than you have yet experienced await you as you humbly and prayerfully serve the Lord in this labor of love among His children. We place our confidence in you and pray that the Lord will help you become an effective missionary."

aaaaaaaamen! WISCONSIN HERE I COME. :) :)

decide what to be, and go be it.

I've had the most beautiful sunday.

Last night as I went to bed I was thinking of one of my favourite songs, and I decided my life motto for right now is
"decide what to be, and go be it."

The full line is, "If you're loved by Someone, you're never rejected; decide what to be, and go be it." I like to captalize Someone and make it about God, because His love is eternal and never ending and infinite and passionate and pursuing and everything great, and I'm never rejected; therefore, I decide what to be, and go be it. :)

Then, as if God was reconfirming that this is what He wants for me right now, my whole church experience went right in line with that. During testimony meeting I had my testimony of the power of the Book of Mormon to change lives and of the changing, enabling power of the Atonement reaffirmed. I know that the Book of Mormon testifies of Christ, and that "there is a power in the book which will begin to flow into your lives the moment you begin a serious study of the book." (ezra taft benson) And I know that the miracle of the Atonement is not just that we can be cleansed and consoled but that we can be transformed. Brad Wilcox taught that,

“Latter-day Saints know not only what Jesus has saved us from but also what He has saved us for... As my friend Omar Canals puts it, “While many Christians view Christ’s suffering as only a huge favor He did for us, Latter-day Saints also recognize it as a huge investment He made in us... When we understand grace, we understand that God is long-suffering, that change is a process, and that repentance is a pattern in our lives. When we understand grace, we understand that the blessings of Christ’s Atonement are continuous and His strength is perfect in our weakness. When we understand grace, we can... continue in patience until we are perfected... Grace is not a booster engine that kicks in once our fuel supply is exhausted. Rather, it is our constant energy source.” (emphasis added)

C.S. Lewis also has some awesome words about becoming perfected that I love, including:

You must realise from the outset that the goal towards which He is beginning to guide you is absolute perfection; and no power in the whole universe, except you yourself, can prevent Him from taking you to that goal.

My friend John also bore an awesome testimony about how God can find you anywhere, which was inspiring.

Then, in Sunday School, the lesson was on agency and God taught me about my power to choose.

I found 2 Nephi 2:27 to be an interesting verse... it's organized with some neat parallels and I like what it doesn't say as much as what it does. If I break it down graphically, it goes like this:

It goes choice/consequence, whose power it's by, and what they want it for us. I like how it's inferred that Jesus seeks that all men might be filled with joy, even as He is. :) Way to go, Book of Mormon!

So I learned from Sunday School that I have been given the power to choose how I want my life to go. Added to what I learned in testimony meeting, God is telling me to use the agency He has given make the right choice, and He will help me carry it out.

And then, because God loves to teach me line upon line, our Relief Society lesson was on dilligence and God taught me that it's the daily "small things" that count and that I shouldn't give up just because I'm not seeing immediate results. Specifically we talked about prayer and scripture study, and prayer especially is something that I've struggled with... feeling like they're effective, like I'm really talking to God and not just thinking thoughts in my head and kinda "aiming them towards heaven." I was taught that I need to be dilligent, and persistent, and that I shouldn't give up. I thought about how I treat phone calls with my Mom and how much I love and treasure and delight in those and how they're my connection to home, and then I thought if I treated prayer like that, like a connection to my real Home and if I could delight in and treasure prayer in the same way... how much more effective and rewarding and delicious prayer would become to me.
And we talked about how it's about developing a relationship and I thought about how I wouldn't just give up on a relationship after one conversation. Relationships take dedication and determination and dilligence, and that's what I'm going to give my relationship with God. And it reminded me of this blog post I read this morning about how real love comes from doing the smallest of things:

"The times where we have the best excuses not to do something, and we do it anyways, are the times that real devotion comes through. I could say 'goodness Heavenly Father, its so late and I have to get up early tomorrow, you'll understand if I don't read my scriptures tonight right?'... but where does that get me? It gets me 15 more minutes of sleep and 15 less minutes of teachability." 

And when the teacher asked us to look up "diligence" in the topical guide it lead me to Moroni 8:26, which taught me that "perfect love... endureth by diligence unto prayer."
It all just reaffirmed my resolution to become a better person through those "small things" like daily scripture study and prayer and temple attendance. God wants me to be passionate for Him, and that's what I've resolved to be.

So today God taught me that if I'm unsatisfied with who I am and where I'm going, like I have been lately, I can change. He will help me change. That's what the Atonement is for. To that end, I have made a plan for scripture study that I'm really excited about, and I have firmly resolved to say my morning and evening prayers daily, without fail. I'm relying wholly upon the merits of Him who is mighty to save, and I'm trusting in the power of His Atonement. I believe Christ when He says that He will make me perfect, and I'm excited to use my agency and faith and determination to make it happen and to become a new creature through Christ :) Yay, Jesus!

President Monson's message last month was really inspired and I'm so blessed to have been able to study it; it teaches me to have a positive attitude, belief in my ability to change and in Christ's desire and ability to change me, and the courage to try again each day :) yay, prophets! 

and now I'm sitting on the couch with a mug of apple cinnamon oatmeal, just really happy and loving this sunday :)

also I love this song :)

the end.

The Good Samaritan

Surprise, surprise........ it was another great day in New Testament. :)

We talked about the story of the Good Samaritan, one I'm sure almost everyone is familiar with at least the premise of. Today, however, we learned an allegorical interpretation I've never even considered before, although if I had looked around a little more I would have seen it taught by Martin Luther, John Welch, and others.

First of all, to understand it you have to know that topographically Jerusalem is the highest point in the Holy Land. People always spoke about going "up" to Jerusalem, the way we in America talk about going "up" if we're headed north. By contrast, Jericho is the lowest city in the world, below even the Dead Sea. So when Jesus talked about a man going down from Jerusalem to Jericho, he was really going down. This represents the Fall of man.

Next we read that this man "fell among thieves, which stripped him of his raiment, and wounded him, and departed, leaving him half dead." The thieves are Satan and his angels, and the wounds are sin. We are spiritually dead (being separated from God) but not yet physically dead.

Next, "by chance there came down a certain priest that way" who did not save the man. "And likewise a Levite, when he was at the place, came and looked on him, and passed by on the other side." Neither the priest [Law of Moses?] or the Levite [Priesthood] could save the fallen man. They came by chance, not on purpose. By chance certain children were born into the family of Israel and lived the Law of Moses. By chance they had the priesthood. But these things cannot save.

forgiving

This I know: God is all-loving, all-knowing, and all-powerful.

Because He is all-loving, He wants us to be happy.

Because He is all-knowing, He knows what will make us happy.

Because He is all-powerful, He can make us happy if we only use our will to choose His will.

One of of His commandments designed to bring us ultimate happiness is forgiveness:

"I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you; That ye may be the children of your Father which is in heaven.. Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father which is in heaven is perfect." Matt 5:44-45, 48

Of course, this all sounds like a great idea until you're faced with actually having to forgive someone who doesn't deserve it, or love someone who persecutes you. C.S. Lewis wrote,

"I admit that this means loving people who have nothing loveable about them. But then, has oneself anything loveable about it? You love it simply because it is yourself... We have then to go on and apply the rule to all the other selves. Perhaps it makes it easier if we remember that that is how He loves us. Not for any nice, attractive qualities we think we have, but just because we are the things called selves." 

Dieter F. Uchtdorf teaches us more about how God loves us:

forgiveness

again with the inspirational new testament class......... but seriously.

today we talked about the Parable of the Unjust Servant and forgiving others. In connection with this, we read the story of Abigail and Nabal from 1 Samuel 25. Basically, Nabal offends David and refuses to help him even after David has been helpful to Nabal. So David takes his men and his swords and goes to punish Nabal. Abigail hears what is happening and runs out to meet David with gifts. She kneels down and puts her face in the dust at David's feet and says, "Upon me, my lord, upon me let this iniquity be...forgive the trespass of thine handmaid." She is literally taking Nabal's sins upon herself, and asking David to forgive her even though she did nothing wrong.

Then we talked about Abigail as a type of Christ. Through his infinite Atonement, Jesus Christ literally took upon Himself all the sins of the world. When I stand before God to be judged, Christ will say, "Father, she wasn't perfect. But I was perfect. I suffered and died for her, so that she wouldn't have to pay the price for her mistakes. For my sake, let her into the Kingdom of Heaven. For my sake, offer her forgiveness."


I believe that when Jesus Christ offered Himself as a sacrifice for the sins of the world, He took upon Himself their sins too. Everyone's sins - not just mine. When I withhold forgiveness for something someone did to offend me, I'm not really withholding it from them - I'm withholding it from Him. From my Savior. From Jesus Christ, who suffered and died for me. How could I ever do that? When I imagine my Savior saying to me, "For my sake, won't you forgive them?" there is nothing to think about. Of course I will. There's nothing to forgive, nothing I wouldn't do for Him. It's just automatic. I love Him.

Easter

Easter is coming up. 8 more days! I'm so thankful for holidays like Christmas and Easter to remind me of what is most important, what I should be thinking about. My Savior, His Atonement, His Resurrection, and His unimaginable love for me... this is what I get to think about for the next few days :)
{I don't need an excuse to think about it, but sometimes I need a good reminder. So I'm thankful.}
Happy Easter Season. What a beautiful time of year :) :)

... coinciding with beautiful weather and a beautiful spring smell in the air today, and my best friend's baptism. God just loves us so very much. :)

tyler & nathan :)

did you think to pray?

One of my favorite quotes about prayer comes from the LDS Bible Dictionary, which says, 

“Prayer is the act by which the will of the Father and the will of the child are brought into correspondence with each other. The object of prayer is not to change the will of God, but to secure for ourselves and for others blessings that God is already willing to grant, but that are made conditional on our asking for them.” {read more here.}

 I really like that prayer isn’t about changing God’s mind – He is perfect, why would I change Him? It’s about bringing my will in line with His. It’s about changing myself; communicating with God, my Father in Heaven, and trying to become more like Him.

Okay but I'm just gonna take a leap of faith here and assume I'm not the only one who ever forgets to pray. One thing I just realized is that it is only because of Jesus Christ that God hears our prayers and is merciful to us {I'm kinda slow, I know.} Therefore, prayer is a way of taking advantage of the Atonement. Yikes! I would never take the Savior’s sacrifice for granted or not use it in my life. I value it way, way, way too much. I could never disrespect my Savior or His Atonement. So now that I know that prayer is only possible because of the Atonement... I hope I never forget it again.

God loves you, I promise! Happy Thursday :)

to forgive

Growing up, I had forgiveness explained to me a lot of different ways.

One was simply that God asked us to forgive, so we should. This is a good reason. Sometimes we do things just because God said so; we don't need a reason, we just trust Him. But it's not very convincing to me.

So another reason offered is, how can we expect forgiveness if we do not extend it ourselves? Jesus said,

“For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses." {Matt. 6:14-15, NKJV}

In the Parable of the Unjust Servant, Jesus teaches me that I can't expect God to forgive me if I withhold forgiveness from others, and reminds me that I have been forgiven a much greater debt than I can ever imagine. I owe Jesus Christ such a huge debt, and He frankly forgave me. How then can I withhold forgiveness from my fellowman, for such a pitiful debt in comparison? "Shouldn't you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?" {Matt. 18:33, NIV} C.S. Lewis wrote,

"To be a Christian means to forgive the inexcusable, because God has forgive the inexcusable in you." {“On Forgiveness” from The Weight of Glory}

I have done so many incredibly stupid things in my life, yet still I hope that I will be forgiven. Can I expect that God will forgive me, and not them? If I believe that I can change and be forgiven, then I have to believe that everyone can do the same; that nothing is outside the scope of Christ's infinite Atonement.

stand up.

I recently watched this video {youtube splits it into two} and it really impacted me. It's about 16 minutes long, but for me it was well worth watching.





These are some of my favorite quotes I've gleaned from her speech: 

to feel

I think that it's good to miss something. It proves that you love it. Example: I miss Seattle. This feeling tells me that I love Seattle :)
Also - our sorrows increase our capacity for feeling love and joy. It's like carving out a cup so that it can hold more :)
Actually I guess any deep emotion carves out a space for others. Greater capacity to feel. And I guess because Christ experienced infinite sorrow and suffering, he can also experience infinite love and joy. {not sure which came first. I guess there is no "first" with infinity) :)
Luckily we don't have to experience infinite sorrow to attain perfect love. Thanks to Jesus's atonement :)
We do need to feel sorrow though. It deepens our capacity to feel, and it increases empathy.

The deeper that sorrow carves into your being the more joy you can contain. Is not the cup that holds your wine the very cup that was burned in the potter's oven? ~Kahlil Gibran

how does Christ love us?

Deeply and unconditionally. Without expecting anything in return. Individually, not collectively. If we love Him back, we will show it by keeping his commandments. But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us. His love for us is a free gift that He willingly offers us, but we have to do something about. We have to act and allow it to work in us, act on it and be changed.
Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends. We are his friends, if we do whatsoever he commands us.
Because He loves us, He wants us to be truly happy, and He knows the only way to receive true happiness is from the Father through Him. He points back to God, always. He glorifies God. He is not proud or boastful or self-centered. He places higher value on us than himself. He put us above Himself - even though we do not deserve it! And he did it because he loves us. He loves us despite our rejection of him. He doesn't need us to love him - he loved us first! We need to love Him. He wants us to love him so that we can be happy. He was willing to sacrifice everything, just to give us the chance, the opportunity for happiness.
He is patient with our faults. He knows we are trying. His influence will bring us closer to the Father. He helps us reach this higher ground. He is never content with what we think is our best - He has better things in mind for us. He will never rest until we are safely home again. He will never give up on us. He cares about us and suffers with us. He mourns with us and rejoices with us.
There is nothing we could do to make Him stop loving us - he always will. He will protect and defend us. He is always there. He wants us to rely on Him. He fights for us. He gives us little blessings to brighten our day :) He has eternal hope for us. He bled and died for the sinner and the saint. His love is offered to everyone - the difference is who will take it and make something of it. He even loves the people who hate Him and do terrible things to Him. And he never, ever gives up on them either. His love has a purifying, perfecting effect. It is cleansing. It makes us want to be better people. It helps us to become better. It is constant. It improves our life. I should love people this same way - deeply and unconditionally. Love = service and sacrifice.

to love

So here's what I think. It's not love if you feel like you have to win or earn the other person's affection. If you feel like they'll only love you if you're a certain person, it's not love. You should want to please them because you love them, and/or because you already know they love you. You shouldn't feel like you have to get them to love you, or that you have to be careful/on your toes for fear that they'll stop loving you. There is no fear in love; perfect love casts out fear :)
That being said, it does take effort to keep love alive. You can't ever mistreat it, disrespect it, or take it for granted. Don't give up on love just because it gets hard. Real love is everlasting. It takes effort from both sides.
Love is patient. It will endure many things. It doesn't give up. Christ will never give up on us. Love is kind. Never cruel or harsh. Caring, thinks about the other person. Gentle, soft. Love is not jealous. It is not proud. Seeketh not her own, puts the other person first. No pride - doesn't think a lot of themselves. High sense of self-worth, yes, but also meek and humble. Love is not easily provoked - goes along with patience, not envying, kindess. Even-tempered. Chill. Relaxed. Thinks no evil. Doesn't rejoice in sin. Rejoices in the truth. True love bears all things, hopes everything, endures everything, and believes all things. :) Christ perfectly embodies charity. If I want to be Christlike, so should I. Christ said, "I have loved thee with an everlasting love." True love is patient and kind - it never gives up. It endures forever. Nothing anyone can do can change this kind of pure, Christlike love. It's untouchable. Unrequited, it will still continue, always there, never boastful, never rude, never thinking evil or rejoicing in evil. If you really, truly love someone, you will put them first. You will always be happy for the good things that happen to them. You will take no thought for yourself. You will not envy them or any other. You will think kind thoughts. You will always hope, always endure, and always believe. Love is closely related to trust and faith. There is a peace and calm that comes with this sort of love. Love gives. It is a purely unselfish emotion. Think no evil - ever. Leads to action - serve those you love.

What does Absolute Trust look like?

Turn to God first, in everything.

No fear of others, only faith.

When thou art in tribulation, even in the latter days, if thou turn to the Lord thy God and shalt be obedient unto his voice (for the Lord thy God is a merciful God;) He will not forsake thee. {Deut. 4:30-31}

Constant prayer, listening for the will of the Lord.

God is everything. He is enough to satisfy every need. He is my Father, Christ my elder brother. They love me. I can trust them with my self. Who else can satisfy? No one. Peace cannot be found outside of the Father. There is no happiness outside of his plan of happiness. 

Turn ye even to me with all your heart, and with fasting, and with weeping, and with mourning, and rend your heart, and not your garments, and turn unto the Lord your God, for he is gracious and merciful. {Joel 2:12-13} Turning to the Lord hurts. Only He can heal the hurt. There can be no reservations. Absolute trust.

Turn to no one else for comfort. Nothing else.

Turn to the Lord with full purpose of heart, put your trust in Him, and serve Him with all diligence of mind. {Mosiah 7:33} 

Serve him first - before receiving anything. Take a leap of faith. Scary! :)

Unto them that look for him shall he appear. {Heb. 9:28} 

Look unto me in every thought; doubt not, fear not. {D&C 6:36}

oh, how He loves

I can't imagine what it would feel like to honestly think that Heavenly Father didn't love me. That is the deepest most basic, purest, simplest part of my testimony. And I think sometimes we take that knowledge for granted in the church. Every Sunday me and all the other young women stand up and say, "We are daughters of our Heavenly Father, who loves us." That basic truth is so important, and vital! Everything in the gospel relates back to it. Oh if I could just implant one simple truth in everyone's brain, it would be that God loves them, absolutely and unconditionally. I know absolutely that God is real and that we are His beloved spirit children, and that He loves us infinitely and eternally and unconditionally. Everything in the gospel comes back to the love of Christ and God. Even if we reject them and work against them, their love remains. Always. It's incredible. I feel so blessed to know this. I need to share this with other people. God is love :)


"For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life." {John 3:16} 

"I have loved thee with an everlasting love." {Jer. 31:3}

"Having loved his own... he loveth them until the end." {John 13:1} 

"Greater love hath no man than this = that a man lay down his life for his friends." {John 15:13} 

"But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us." {Rom. 5:8} 

"I know that he loveth his children; nevertheless, I do not know the meaning of all things." {1 Ne. 11:17}  

"The love of God, which sheddeth itself abroad in the hearts of the children of men... is the most desirable above all things... and the most joyous to the soul." {1 Ne. 11:22-23} 

"If ye love me, keep my commandments." {John 14:15} 

"Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my bretheren, ye have done it unto me." {Matt. 25:40}


"He doeth not anything save it be for the benefit of the world; for he loveth the world, even that he layeth down his own life that he may draw all men unto him. Wherefore, he commandeth none that they shall not partake of his salvation." {2 Ne. 26:24}