work stories by julia II

Julia Denise Green is one of my most favorite people in the world. I think she is simply fantastic. ♥ And her work stories are the funniest of my life. So fabulous I must share them here with you :) :) 


work is literally the most awkward thing of my whole life. 
~customers trying to swipe their cards on the thing where they enter the pin. i swipe it on my own machine. you just enter your pin. also, customers grabbing a pen to sign the receipt when they said they wanted debit. you don't have to sign for that....
~me asking "debit or credit" right as they are saying one or the other so i don't actually hear what they say and have to ask them again.
~my interaction with customers. i'm not good at small talk. i hate small talk. "how are you today?" and "wow, it's rainy out!" are so done. therefore, customers are literally running out the door to escape the discomfort i cause them.
‎~when my boss comes to drop off the orders
me: eldon, loni said the computer is being weird. {describes problem}
eldon: well maybe, but the problem is probably just loni.
me: oh yeah. okay... {awkward silence.... and SCENE!}
~me nearly tripping and dying any time i try to dance. that place is a death trap.
what is wrong with me? they surely didn't hire me for my social skills...